I’m afraid Ron won’t move here from California, that whatever is here won’t be good enough, or that Malevolence or the Fates will keep us separated. It’s like being crushed by a glacier. And every so often, he’ll say something that is so uniquely Ron that it tears into my heart because I might never see him again.
It’s an adoptee thing.
Ron and I packed a lot into yesterday, the shortest day of the year.
I was up at 4 and got oatmeal started in the slow cooker. After breakfast, Ron shoveled out the driveway while I cleared the back stairs and the truck.
We drove to the Sheraton in Hyannis for a Blue Cross/Blue Shield seminar on Medicare and their plans. The speaker was excellent and we picked up a stack of printed plan descriptions and applications.
We stopped for lunch at Lambert’s, then dropped by the Sears outlet on Phinney’s Lane and the Sears store. We found a great bathrobe and flannel pajamas on sale for Ron.
After that, we drove to the Barnstable County Registry of Deeds & Probate Building to pick up the can opener I won in a raffle for Mary.
I wanted Ron to see 6A. We stopped at Sturgis Library, the oldest public library in the country and at the Friends meetinghouse in Sandwich, the oldest continuous Quaker meeting in North America. We saw Lori at Lavender Moon and got cider and apples at Crow Farm. We drove through Sandwich Center and picked up chicken pie at the Sandwich Lamberts, then shortbread at MacKillop’s in Forestdale.
I fell asleep very early. We skipped supper.
Ron is here!
We’re in the midst of a snow storm that started around 6 last (Sunday) night. And rather than being in Berkeley or on a plane, Ron is here; I’m waiting for him to wake up.
I was able to book him the last seat on the US Airways red eye from SFO, landing at Logan at 6 am yesterday.
It was a clear day and an easy drive to Logan and back to Mashpee. Needless to say, I’m absolutely thrilled to not have to do that run this morning.
I’d planned a Christmas luncheon for “the girls”, and Ron graciously agreed to let me go ahead with plans.
As always, we had a terrific time with lots of good conversation and great gifts, and everyone got home well before the snow started.
Later, we dropped by to see Candy and John, cleaned up the kitchen and set up Ron’s computer.
We are all set for Christmas and Ron’s arrival tomorrow!
Not to toot my own horn (well, maybe a little), I’ve done volunteer work every year of my life since I was about 15.
This year, the main projects were my personal STEM initiative Mentor TechWorks, Highfield Hall in Falmouth, Hope In Bloom, a Microsoft-sponsored event New England Give Camp and judging for NCWIT‘s Aspirations in Computing and Odyssey of the Mind.
Right now, I’m working on a database project for a terrific local organization that cares for stray and feral cats, NESAA.
I only wish that Ron and I were wealthy enough to be able to give money as generously as we’d like to these and other very worthy organizations.
No, not as in Muslim or Mormon, but rather, wife of a divorced man.
I am told it’s normal to feel one is being compared, and probably not always favorably, to wife #1, as well as to old girlfriends. This has nothing to do with the way Ron talks to me or treats me but rather, to the insecurity that all American women feel about anything relating to our bodies.
Let’s face it: none of us ordinary women are happy with how we look.
To exacerbate this, Ron’s first wife evidently was an expert in the art of lovemaking. Their first encounter, on the day they met, was on the back of a truck, and from the way he describes it, it was pretty spectacular. He also had a three-year love affair with a Japanese law student.*
I on the other hand, perhaps foolishly, have prided myself on being a chaste woman for many, many years. That kept me healthy mentally and physically in some ways, but it’s a tremendous disadvantage in others.
I am also, to put it gently, homely. To put it in completely honest terms, I am probably the ugliest woman in North America! The fact that I’m married continues to surprise me, especially being married to someone who I like, respect and, okay, love as much as I do Ron. The fact that I am ugly has greatly limited my opportunities for the kind of practice that would me a proficient bedmate.
I’ve agonized over this and I’m sick of looking at this ugly face when I comb my hair. So recently, I suggested that we plan on taking a medical vacation in 2011 to Costa Rica, where Ron could get the dental care that he needs and I could get cosmetic surgery. I’d like to be able to take a good picture, or even a decent one. It seems like a small thing to ask when for most human beings, that’s a simple given.
I remember Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis saying that you marry three times: for love, for money and for companionship. I’m keeping the thought that Ron’s first marriage was a practice run and that this one is for love.
I’ll have an easier time believing that when I become more lovable in my own eyes. And whether you want to call it superficial or materialistic, that’ll very likely happen when my own eyes see a face that the camera loves as much as Ron does.
Even though Tiger is persona non grata in some circles, I still think his advice back in 2002 was excellent. http://www.oregonlive.com/info/tigerwoods/index.ssf?/info/tigerwoods/buildingblocks.html
Ron has shared this blog with his friends so that they’ll get a better idea of the person he married, so here’s a little about how we differ and how we are the same.
He’s friendly and outgoing. I’m reserved and taciturn with people I don’t know.
We are about the same age; I am 2 months older.
We are almost the same size, although he’s a bit taller. We both had fair hair when we were little kids. We both have blue eyes.
We both have arthritis, his is worse. I have carpal tunnel, not bad enough yet for surgery.
He made his living through physical work as a stagehand. I made my living first as a pension consultant, then as a compensation and benefits professional, and for the last 13 years as a computer programmer.
He does rough carpentry; I’m a gardener, happiest when I’m outside doing yard work of some kind or another: http://www.twitpic.com/j3nx5
He is left wing/progressive. I’m libertarian, although the Libertarian Party has nominated some dismal Presidential candidates recently so I haven’t supported it for a while.
You know how much Ron loves music. I like a lot of the same.
He has a pretty high “A” factor, having done things like diving into a quarry and water skiing at 60 miles per hour. I don’t.
We are both of Scottish/English descent, although he has a bit of Irish background, too. I don’t know who my father is and only met some of my mother’s family about eight years ago. I hate adoption and would like to see it eradicated: guardianship, yes. Adoption, no.
He grew up in New Hampshire. I grew up in the Boston area and spent many hours commuting on public transportation and walking to school or to work. After a couple of false starts, I graduated from the University of Massachusetts/Boston with a degree in mathematics. I liked the gritty, no BS attitude of an urban school with a sense of social mission.
I have a 16 year old cat, Mr. Fluffles, whom I inherited from a friend. Mr. Fluffles is grey and we think part Siberian, part Maine Coon. http://www.twitpic.com/7r4tp
I like to cook. http://www.twitpic.com/yrdb
Pix for your viewing pleasure of where your friend will live when he moves to the Cape: http://www.twitpic.com/e/t6n Pix of our Reno elopement: http://www.twitpic.com/e/rwe
