We received more than we gave.  Here’s how:

We received $100 in gift cards and gift certificates, $8 in tips and two pounds of gourmet coffee.

We brought home a huge bag of leftover bakery gifted from work: at least $40-50 worth.

We gave out $70 in tips and spent $40 on gift cards and $70 at the bakery for family and friends.

We got a $20 store credit from Williams Sonoma and $25 in statement credits.

This morning, we had breakfast muffins from the bakery, a cheese omelet, coffee and mimosas with orange and lime juice and Prosecco.  Ron has been playing some gorgeous Classical CDs.

As Ron put it, we have no stockings, tree or decorations to take down and no tinsel and wrappings to clean up: just our outside lights, which we’ll leave up, probably until New Year’s.

I made beef stew yesterday and a salad this morning.  Worked on the rope wreath.

We went for a late afternoon walk at Sandy Neck beach.

Did my Monday stint at the bakery, asked the boss more questions, this time about sales and marketing.  Shared my concerns about being extraneous with the manager.

A CFO is the one who’d negotiate with bankers and investors.  In other words, seems to me that what the boss has is an accountant.  Nothing wrong with that, but “CFO” feels like “fake it till you make it”, and that doesn’t seem necessary for what is a very well-run and increasingly popular business.

Last night, we picked James up and drove him to Walmart to get a Christmas gift that was sold out at Game Stop.

I was up early again today.  Warmed up a lot and rained for most of the day, especially heavy about now.

Feels like I’ve been on my feet all day, which is crazy.  Had a lot to catch up on: hangings in particular, including James’ fish; dishes; cooking.  Did some more around vehicle images for NEPS.

Met the Mold Doctor this morning.  His office gave him the wrong time, so Robert was already in the truck for his ride to work.  He thinks the mildew is very minor, treatable with Lysol and bleach.

Dropped off a cake that Ron picked up at the Senior Center for Robert and saw Paul at the Commons today; helped him move a few items into his building and into the elevator.

Made some calls about insulation at Edgewater.  Turns out, HAC is in charge of a program for which Peter et al qualify, so they can get recommended improvements for free!

Got Robert’s permission to give his old books and toys to Standish.  Liz was pleased.

Very rich baked spaghetti casserole for supper.

I was up at 4:30.  Read for a while.

Did laundry and changed the sheets.

We had a bunch of errands in Hyannis: returned a matte and bought 4 frames at AC Moore while Ron shopped at Home Depot.  Picked up lens cleaning material at VisionQuest.  Bought five spice jars at BB&B.  Bought a gift card for Cindy at Stop & Shop while Ron redeemed soda bottles – 75 cents!

Returned to Mashpee for transfer station run and a quick stop at CVS.

Spent a good part of yesterday making a heavy soup and experimenting with some dried fig pieces that I made into oatmeal squares.  Made a big salad as well.

We deposited our checks last night.

Today I addressed and mailed the rest of Ron’s holiday cards, did more banking and some work for NEPS.

Bought a glorious 5.5 quart Le Creuset dutch oven to replace the old one, which is pretty rusted at this point.  Incredibly, I got it at Williams-Sonoma for $60 LESS than the Amazon price – plus a gift certificate for $20.

And that scares some people.

Inflation and low interest rates are mainly problems for the financial industry and rich savers.

I was running on all 6 cylinders today.

Picked up goods for Edgewater at the Senior Center; bought a nice bouquet for Peter and Bonnie to ask for their forgiveness for my (in retrospect) incomprehensible audacity; drove Robert to work; got a cortisone shot from Alissa Devito at Dr. Calianos’ office.  She is superb.  She thinks I have neuropathy in my fingers and has ordered a nerve test with Dr. Leahy.

I tried to donate blood but the cortisone shot made me ineligible.

Talked with Tom Fudala at Town Hall about SPE site maps and his philosophy on open space (for it) and his opinion of the new Town Manager (enthusiastic thumbs up).

Put up Ron’s bulletin board (ooga).  Did 8 minutes of yard work at Edgewater and drove James to work.  Shopped for a couple of items on the way back.

Signed, stamped and addressed all my holiday cards.

More t-shirt weather: 63°!

I’ve realized that I’ve been mimicking two especially ugly forms of parental abuse that I learned from Rose and Ed Cohen:  arrogantly intruding on my son and DIL’s privacy and screaming at everyone and about everything.

Fuck the Cohens.

My job from now until the end of my life will be to try to heal the damage that adoption did to me as a tiny girl.  The damage happened, and I can’t do anything about that, but I can make the best possible effort to counteract the consequences.

Where the hell did I ever get off thinking that Peter and Bonnie’s relationship is any business of mine?  And why have I been so mean to people since I was a kid?

Ron thinks I am good by nature but influenced by bad, and the two have been fighting each other for decades.

I hope that my family can forgive the bad.

With Peter at Edgewater and Jerry T at the Transfer Station.

I’ve been stress eating to “fill” my damaged under 5 year old self, the age of trauma associated with BPD and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Suicide is only one of multiple doors.

We had a nice evening with the White Lion gang at Casa Vallarta.  I’m sure their kitchen staff thinks that I’m insane.  Next time, I’ll buy drinks for the dishwashers.

Drove James to and from work yesterday.

Was wishing I could run away and live in the woods.

We are planning to have pizza and beer with Jerry tonight to talk about the Association.

So far today, we brought James to his bank before it closed and to Game Stop for Christmas shopping; visited the Wampanoag craft fair; bought and froze on-sale protein at Roche and another box of gluten-free cake mix at Stop & Shop; mailed the street census to the Town Clerk; picked up books at the library and donuts at Cape Cod Donuts.

Ron experimented here with the new gutter guards that we got at Lowe’s last weekend but they don’t work; maybe at Edgewater.

I have The Cake in the oven and laundry in the dryer.

Both of the boys were here for a while.  Robert made peppermint bark for Peter and James hung out here until it was time for Ron to drive him to work.

I checked out the price of fluorescent tube bulbs at True Value: almost twice what we paid at Lowe’s.

Yesterday, I brought gluten-free pizza and salad for lunch for all of us at the bakery.  Brought Robert, too; he and Liz had a good conversation, lasted about an hour.

After bringing Robert home, I picked up Cindy’s tree at Botello and delivered it to her house.  Gassed up the truck at the Falmouth Stop & Shop and found actual powdered icing at Shaw’s for The Cake!

Worked out a way to trim images on the fly for Jim.  Unfortunately, his server is down and won’t be on line until Tuesday.

Pan-seared chicken and salad for supper.

While waiting for James at Roche, Ron and Robert were temporarily encumbered by the Mashpee Christmas parade.