{"id":38,"date":"2003-12-23T08:00:06","date_gmt":"2003-12-23T13:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/wp\/?p=38"},"modified":"2003-12-23T08:00:06","modified_gmt":"2003-12-23T13:00:06","slug":"you-cant-go-home-again-and-why-would-you-want-to-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/?p=38","title":{"rendered":"You can&#8217;t go home again (and why would you want to anyway)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>For two years, I lived in the Brant Rock section of Marshfield, Massachusetts, in a cottage less than 1\/10 of a mile from the beach.  I could see the ocean from my front stairs.<\/p><p><!--more--><br \/>\nThe cottage had a fireplace and, as it turned out, wood floors, and a sweet little garden in the back.<br \/>\nI turned the second bedroom into guest quarters for my grandkids.  My grandson Bob used to like to walk on the breakwater.  If we didn&#8217;t want to swim at Brant Rock, we&#8217;d drive a short distance to Green Harbor, which is a gorgeous beach, a fair but doable walk to the famous Duxbury Beach.<br \/>\nSometimes I&#8217;d get takeout at one of the several very good restaurants in &#8220;The Esplanade&#8221; or drive to FarFar&#8217;s in Duxbury for ice cream or for a visit to their superb library.<br \/>\nIt was the stuff of day dreams and wishes, exactly what I&#8217;d hoped.<br \/>\nUntil the day my across-the-street neighbor stormed to my home in a shrieking rage about some imagined slight that had been reported, inaccurately and with deliberate malevolence, by a meddlesome clerk in the Building Department.<br \/>\nThere were other incidents, too, involving neighbors who resented my being there, even though I&#8217;d improved the property and even hired them and their friends to do the renovations.<br \/>\nI left Marshfield after two years, with not a single name to add to the address book, save one, a lady who tried to start a small business and was similarly driven out.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve gone back there once a year, to pick up a calendar at the Brant Rock Fish Market.  The folks in the Fish Market are good people, decent and non-judgmental, and their calendars have tons of information, including the tides and the times of sunrise and sunset.<br \/>\nI get pleasure in calculating the progressive difference in hours of daylight and, at this time of year especially, when we&#8217;ll start seeing later sunsets.<br \/>\nLast year, when I went to pick up my calendar, I felt numb, no good memories and no bad.<br \/>\nThis year, I was physically ill, sick to my stomach for the whole visit.  I couldn&#8217;t even bring myself to go to FarFar&#8217;s or to the beach.<br \/>\nI want to think that this is part of the healing process, like a bad wound that heals from the inside out, sloughing off that which was damaged so that healthy tissue can take its place.<br \/>\nI try to tell myself that being an &#8220;outsider&#8221; is character-building or offers other compensations.<br \/>\nBut the reality is that I would have rather belonged somewhere, with people of loyalty and courage who thought it was wrong for one person to have to fight all those battles alone.<br \/>\nI believe in karma and that hard times is not so much a punishment but a teacher.  It has occurred that in my immediate prior lifetime, I must have had a great deal to learn.<br \/>\nSo, next year, in Brant Rock, I hope to be able to measure my slow but steady progression to <i>nirvana<\/i> by being, if not happy, at least a little more enlightened, a little more wise, and a little more at peace with the past.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For two years, I lived in the Brant Rock section of Marshfield, Massachusetts, in a cottage less than 1\/10 of a mile from the beach. I could see the ocean from my front stairs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hendersonbrook.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}