Bonnie and I were talking today about the new book, “The Sociopath Next Door”, by Harvard Medical School psychiatrist Dr. Martha Stout.
\nIn her book, which is due out next month, Dr. Stout says that 4% of the population, or 1 out of every 25, are sociopaths: people who display 3 or more of 7 characteristics, such as deceitfulness, the ability to sham emotion and a lack of remorse.<\/p>
\nAccording to Dr. Stout, sociopaths often are superficially charming and charismatic. They also are hard to identify and, unfortunately, have the ability to easily fool and to “seduce” other people.
\nIn an interview, she was asked if sociopathy is learned or innate; after a thoughtful pause, she stated that it is genetic, although a book review states that the influence of genetics and environment is 50:50 – but no one has yet identified what the non-hereditary influences are.
\nWe were talking about this in the context of schoolyard bullying and the coping strategies Bonnie learned as a kid and which she subsequently transferred to the workplace.
\nBonnie is exceptionally bright, especially in the area of reading people. Her insights are deep and often go against superficial popular opinion.
\nThere were two things that came out of our conversation that I’ll be thinking about a long time.
\nOne was the statistical implications of Dr. Stout’s 1 in 25 research findings.
\nThe other was Bonnie coping strategy, which is not what it seemed at first measure.
\nWhat I mean by this is that when we started talking about this, she said essentially that she’s learned to “yes” bullies to death: as she put it, nod pleasantly while you’re thinking “you’re an ass*”, then avoid them as best you can.
\nThat’s pretty much conventional wisdom, but I had the feeling that in practice, there was more to it.
\nThat turned out to be so: when I asked her for a workplace example, it turns out that she has a much more nuanced 3-pronged strategy that has worked out well for her in the past.
\nTake, for example, a fellow employee who exhibited typical sociopathic behavior by lying about something Bonnie did (or didn’t do). How many of us have been the victim of this kind of shady, underhanded dealing? Maybe 96% percent of us?
\nHere’s the way it works:
\n1 – Work for a boss who has the integrity to be objective and the kahones to take your side, as opposed to the kind of lazy, cowardly schmuck who avoids controversy because it’s too much work.
\n2 – Nurture a network of coworkers who like you and who will be your allies if the sociopath paints a target on your back.
\n3 – Undermine the sociopath in a professional way by bringing their bad behavior to your sympathetic boss’s attention in a crisp, business-like way.
\nAnd, if you find yourself in a situation in which any one of these “prongs” is missing – run like h-e-double l.
\nAs far as the statistics: 1 in 25 means that it is likely that in every classroom in the United States, there is at least 1 sociopath. In other words, every schoolchild needs to contend with 1 charismatic but malevolent bully who has the ability to “convert” at least a handful of others to terrorize the rest of the group.
\nIn a company of 50 employees, it’s about 100% certain that 2 are sociopaths. In a company of 25, the probability of at least 1 is also 100%. In a small company of 10, the likelihood of your working with a sociopath is a solid 40%. And so on.
\nAccording to the reviewers, this book contains advice on how to recognize and to cope with “the tyrants, powerful and petty, who haunt our lives” (BarnesandNoble.com).
\nAdvanced orders, anyone?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bonnie and I were talking today about the new book, “The Sociopath Next Door”, by Harvard Medical School psychiatrist Dr. Martha Stout. In her book, which is due out next month, Dr. Stout says that 4% of the population, or … Continue reading