Ron and I showed up at the Bloodmobile in Williamstown this afternoon for my 1 PM appointment. We flunked the physical, too anemic, but I’m glad that we did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had a full blown panic attack for reasons that have nothing to do with giving blood or the workers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bloodmobile staff didn’t react as one might hope medical people would when a patient is in distress. They smirked, bullied a little and argued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The important thing is the reason why it happened. It occurred to me afterwards that this was the third time I reacted like this and interestingly enough, two of those times were here in Williamstown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first time it happened was on an airplane from Washington DC to Boston. The plane landed off schedule to allow a small, dark-haired woman to be taken off for medical care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I got off the plane, too, and refused to get back on, fearing that something terrible would happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Earlier this year, similar event: I had started to join an exercise class at the local senior center but when I saw that the other participants were thin and nice-looking, I felt that I couldn’t stay there, that I didn’t belong and something terrible would happen if I stayed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m not sure of the source but it’s clearly a trauma I suffered earlier in life, or maybe the sum of similar traumas. Good-looking people terrify me. Maybe some day I’ll understand why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Ron and I showed up at the Bloodmobile in Williamstown this afternoon for my 1 PM appointment. We flunked the physical, too anemic, but I’m glad that we did. I had a full blown panic attack for reasons that have … Continue reading