I’ve been interested in illnesses of the brain since Robert and Emme were diagnosed, but today was the first time that I found a group that could help me understand my own as well as Ron’s brain injuries.

Brain injuries happen for many different reasons besides stroke or TIA – accidents, illnesses like tumors and encephalitis, aneurysms, sports-related injuries.

Most of the people in the room had brain injuries for reasons other than stroke. Even so, I could relate to so many of their experiences.

Examples: the day after attending a conference, or any event that piles on too many stimuli, a couple of the participants said they were exhausted, that it felt like they had the flu.

They said that clutter or noise can be overwhelming, that it takes longer to do anything, even mechanical activities like brushing your teeth, that it requires five times as much effort for an injured brain to move muscles and think through a task.

Someone recommended keeping a list on the wall, or a grid for bill-paying. Others recommended books or DVDs.

A couple of participants felt that HIPPA has created problems for brain-injured people, in that it’s impossible to distribute information on support groups in the community unless specifically asked. Foolish!

One of the difficulties in finding long-term treatment and support is that brain-injured people are stigmatized in our society.

It seems from some of the experiences that even medical professionals have little understanding of how long it takes to recover and the best ways to go about it.

All in all, an enlightening and encouraging two hours. I’m looking forward to the next one and hope Ron can attend as well.

This morning, for the first time, I attended a meeting of the Brain Injury Survivor/Caregiver Support Group of Mashpee.

The group leader made the comment that at times, he feels like he accomplished nothing: what did I do over the last 3 or 4 hours?

That’s exactly how I feel today.

After the meeting, I ran some errands, including banking and picking up meds, and got back here around 2.

Have I done almost 3 hours of anything since then? Not that I can remember. I paid a bill online, talked with Ron for a bit, reserved a couple of films at Redbox, received a call from a property management company and sent a couple of emails.

– Birth of a child
– Birth of grandchildren
– Understanding and making allowance for disabilities and limitations
– Catering to food likes, dislikes
– Creating a pleasing home environment
– Common values around money, community responsibility, political activism
– Pleasure in the person’s looks and demeanor
– Shared sense of humor
– Shared communication styles (direct/indirect, articulate/nonverbal, etc.)
– Wish to protect each other from physical, verbal and emotional harm
– Wish to participate in shared experiences
– Respect for the other’s independence and need for privacy
– Sexual compatibility

– Linda
– Jennifer
– Susan
– Gloria
– Sally
– Judy
– Laurie
– Benny
– Melody
– Marcia

Cut back at Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and July 4th. For Spring pruning, cut back to buds at the base of the plant.

Would be nice to put in some Joe Pye Weed this year.

Two nights ago, James was here with 3 friends for an overnight. He and Tyler had been here on and off all weekend.

I was able to clean up the kitchen and put the basement clubhouse in order before knocking off last night. This morning, I reorganized the blankets and pillows and got those put away.

Yesterday, I finished putting super phosphate on the flowering shrubs in the back, including the lilacs, hydrangeas, Montauks, butterfly bushes, peony and St. Johnswort.

I’m pretty much done with pruning and possibly even weeding for now.

Today I shall clean up the section of the basement reserved for Ron’s trunks and boxes.

I also want to spread the mulch, load the truck with throw-aways from the basement, get to Fedex or UPS and attend a talk at Mahoney’s.

Well, that didn’t work out as planned.

I did get most of the basement cleared out, but not all of it.

I didn’t touch an inch of mulch.

I did load the truck with most but not all of the throw-aways.

I did get to Fedex but not to Mahoney’s or to the beach clean-up.

I invited James to come over to do a yard sale. We set out tables and posted signs, but we just didn’t have enough good stuff to make it worthwhile.

Plus, it was cold, windy and unpleasant.

I ended up with four boys (James, Tyler, Shane and a new friend, John). Tyler stomped on my poor Jacob’s Ladder. Emme came along, but we didn’t get around to doing anything fun. It was a challenge to keep the grill from blowing out, but James was able to roast hot dogs and rolls.

All in all, a somewhat disappointing day in terms of productivity.

Today I shall clean up the section of the basement reserved for Ron’s trunks and boxes.

I also want to spread the mulch, load the truck with throw-aways from the basement, get to Fedex or UPS and attend a talk at Mahoney’s.

We had a frost warning last night, but I didn’t see any this morning. It is cold and windy, not a real great day to be outside tending a yard sale, which is happening across the street at Candy’s.

Three weeks from today, Ron will be here.

I am very happy about that.

Even though I’ve lived by myself for decades, I’m looking forward to his moving in. As he’s said several times, I wish it were over. In about a month or so, he should be pretty well settled in.

It’s been raining, with thunder and lightning, since around 4:30 this morning. At times, the rain has come down in sheets.

The backyard has several large puddles in the usual spots.

Glad to have gotten at least some compost down yesterday, and wish I could have done more.

Picked up compost today at the Falmouth leaf collection center on Blacksmith Shop Road and half a yard of black mulch at BSF. Put down most of the mulch and a good chunk of the compost in front of the house. Hope to do more work tomorrow. Pretty beat right now.

I’ve never had much respect for men who are sexually attracted to small, dark women.

My daughter-in-law is of average size and she’s a pretty girl. I’m glad that my son was secure enough to marry her instead of some petite bimbo-ette.

When I was in high school, a male friend, reading a blurb about “Madama Butterfly”, stated how disgusted he was with a reference to “the submissive women of the East.” I’ve always admired that young man, whose insight into that twisted sexual dynamic was spot-on.

There is something unmanly and even sinister about seeing an average-sized or tall man with a tiny woman, especially a tiny dark woman. It’s like being forced to watch pederasty, incest, Third World child sex slavery, pornographic films of adults raping little screaming children.

Getting your rocks off because it’s fun to be able to lift a grown woman into the air makes me sick to my stomach.

Same reaction I have to men fornicating with animals.

I understand that men of small stature want women of similar size, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

For everyone else, though, being sexually attracted to tiny women is a major red flag. It tells me that man has something very seriously wrong with his head, that he’s struggling with his sexual identity.

Although it’s not up to me to make the call, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable leaving such a man alone with my grandkids.